When my nephew was born, it was so exciting to me! My brother and his girl friend lived with us for three months before my brother’s house was completed. I helped my mom basically take care of the baby.
My brother’s girl friend didn’t seem to attached to him. At least in my 10-year-old mind she didn’t. I could hold him for hours! He was so soft and beautiful and smelled so good.
For some reason, Brother’s girl friend didn’t trust me with her baby. She thought I would drop him. She was like that towards me even when he was two and I was 12 years old. I was NEVER rough with him. I treated him like he was a delicate egg….it was just her way of manipulating and controlling me… and my brother.
There were MANY fights between her and my brother. Violent ones, on both of their parts. Sometimes the police were called, and I was sent over to the neighbors. One time she left without the baby, and just walked away in the mid-summer florida heat.
My mother went after her, and tried to make her take responsibility for herself, and her child. Mom was always trying with her. She opened her home to her, and try to love her, and she had nothing to do with it.
Brother and his girl friend finally decided to get married. My brother wanted to get married as soon as he found out she was pregnant. In fact he had proposed to her before she got pregnant. Remember, she threw the engagement ring in the woods during a fight?
They got married, and had an adorable little wedding. They went on a “honeymoon” a couple hours a way for a week. My parents kept the baby of course. When they arrived to come pick him up they were in the middle of a fight. Brother’s wife took off her rings…again….and threw them in the yard.
Brother asked me to go and see if the next door neighbor had a metal detector. The neighbor didn’t have one, and then asked me what I needed it for. I just mumbled, “Brother’s wife, lost her ring in the yard.”
My sister also had a moody boy friend. Between my sibling’s significant others, my parents were under a lot of stress.
I saw my mother’s tears, my dad trying to stay positive and be successful with his career, and not get dragged down and depressed.
Homeschooling continued. I occasionally rode my horse. I also started up sewing lessons with another homeschooling mother. She was trying to make ends meet as her husband left her with four little children to take care of.
She was a sweet lady and gave me the love for sewing, which has not left me yet. 🙂
My neighborhood “friends” weren’t very fun to me. There was a girl my age that lived next door, but she and I always got into tifts about the stupidest of things. It drove me nuts. She was always telling me how much better life in “California” was. She had an annoying way of pronouncing California too. It was with a whine in her voice, and she said, Cali- (long ‘i’) Forn- E (long e) Ahhhh.
She didn’t like to do anything fun. All she liked to do was play baseball and watch movies. She was pretty boring in my estimation. She was also the first one to tell me a dirty joke.
I had more fun with two sisters down the street that were five and three years old. I played with them more.
I also had a neighbor girl across the street that was my age. She was into Vanilla Ice, M.C. Hammer, and bossed her little brother around in a horrible way. She had a dirty mouth, and I was always uncomfortable around her. She also had a fascination with the “spiritual world” of ghosts. She would tell haunting “true” stories. From her, I learned about “Bloody Mary”, and was afraid to go to sleep at night, because I had a mirror in my bedroom.
Even though I had girl “friends” my age, and I was allowed to play with them, I did not want to. I believe I would tell my mom some of the going ons… They didn’t want to do anything fun and innocent. And what was innocent was always about baseball, boys, rap music, or ghost stories.
I would rather ride bikes, play Barbies, play with my baby dolls watch good movies, read books, ride horses etc.
These girls did nothing except talk…and at 10 and 11 years old I did not like “talking”. I liked playing and doing.
At this time, we were not going to church. My parents could not find a church that they felt comfortable in. We tried to attend the church that we did we lived at my Grandma’s, but it was an hour away….and eventually we just quit going.
Life in this new community wasn’t all bad. We had previously lived in this same community when I was two and three years old. My family had reconnected with family that we knew when lived there the first time. They had two little girls. I got along better with their oldest daughter.
She was a normal little girl. She still liked to play, and swim, and ride bikes. She wasn’t into boys and rap music. I would get together with her often and play. Our families often would go camping together. They introduced us to another family with all girls in it. These girls were also “normal” and I felt more comfortable around them than I did with my neighbor girl friends.
There was also another family we had known from the previous time we had lived there. They also had a normal little girl. She was about two years younger than I was, but she still liked doing normal girl stuff.
We even began to attend their church. We never joined this church, but we did go very often.
This church had an awesome children’s choir, and I joined it. The lady who taught it would eventually become a pretty big part of my life. Things were starting to “normalize” in my life, and I wasn’t feeling too lonely anymore.
Things were still crazy between my brother and his wife. There was always something going on between them. And my mom and dad would get dragged into the middle somehow.
As I sat watching all of this, at such a young age…I didn’t know what to think about it. I don’t think I started to “process” it all until I reached about 13 or 14. But I knew at the time if my brother had only listened to my parents to start with, he wouldn’t be in such a mess.
And any advice they gave him during his crazy marriage, he didn’t take it…and it was normal common sense stuff. I didn’t want to be like that. I wanted a good life. I wanted to make wise choices that would lead to a good life.