I am soooo humbled by all the gracious responses I got about my last “dark” post about ditching my jumper.
I was very scared and apprehensive to open myself up so wide like that and let basically the whole world see “me”. That was really tough.
But I am glad that I did it. So very glad. The responses that I got were so encouraging to me, and I hope, that I will be an encouragement to someone through my story. My heart really aches for those who have been in my shoes. My heart cries out to reach them, but not knowing exactly how to go about it.
People who walk by me in everyday passing, people sitting in the pews every morning on Sunday. Crying out to God for answers…and not seeming to find those answers. Staying quiet, because they are afraid to mar their testimony, or even God’s testimony. Staying quiet because they aren’t sure if anyone has even been through something like this. Staying quiet because to even think the thoughts they are having is a sign of rebellion.
I know, because that it is exactly how it was with me. And when I did make a little tiny pip squeak of the questions in my heart, I got a lot of confused looks. Like, I was completely off my rocker. And for a while I believed I was off of my rocker.
But God has been so good, and so faithful to show me…that no. I am not alone. There are others out there seeking truth…and afraid to search. And not only has He shown me that I am/was not alone in my struggles, but He put the right people on my path at exactly the right times.
It’s hard to see that when you are in the black hole of depression. But He *is* there, and you can *see* the evidence after He has passed through.
Today, I believe the Lord confirmed to me that I did the right thing, in opening myself so wide up on a public place such as a blog. I heard this song today…and it spoke to me. I hope it speaks to you too. ♥